I'm starting to think I should contact the makers of bobblehead dolls, to ask them to make their toys with more realistic proportions. Y'know, so I don't get body-image issues on account of what I'm beginning to see as my freakishly small head.

I have a feeling their response will include them sending someone around to refund the purchase price of their product, leaving me with a printed card, which will read: "Dear consumer: We regret that you are not possessed of a parent of guardian with the sense to tell you that humans are not really made after this fashion. We find that most consumers consider the comically disproportionate features of our dolls amusing, but regret to conclude that you do not fall into this subset of the general populace. Please use the refund to purchase a doll shaped exactly like you.